Fzah Ruslan

Tempted

2012-02-09T16:05:00.001+01:00

But I prefer to hit the sack early tonight. I've had a very rough long day. Literally. Long, not as in 9 am to 5 pm long BUT 6.54 am to 5 pm !!! Yes, you read me right, no, I ain't no bluffing y'all ! Don't trust me ? I shall show you the school Teachers' Daily Attendance Listing. It is secured by finger print system as a measure againts cheats. What ? You thought we still use that antique write-your-name-and-sign-in-that-worn-and-torn-big-log-book ?

Now you see why I hate those bunch of people saying "Your life is easy, you're a teacher, you work half day bla²²²~" or "You teachers don't need to work hard. You only go to school and teach." or "You are well paid for a measly job you do" or "I wish I did linguistic studies in Uni because it's all about grammar..." Ha-di-haha ! You're goddamn funny ! If only you know what the hell our life is about !

Finally, for once in weeks, I shed tears in the staffroom. Mainly because of these rough people, the workload, and the rough day altogether. Also perhaps I was a bit on the touchy side because I was gonna have my period soon. As I said "the painters are coming in". I was having a very bad cough, a sore throat, I lost my voice and also was on the brink of falling sick (which explains my current addiction towards Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu dan Anak). But haha ! Nobody noticed me wiping my eyes and face dry (glad I've brought my tissue box to my desk a few days ago). Though there were so many teachers present. What ? You thought when we don't have class, we just sit around, watch people and gossip ? Nooooo ! We hustle bustle around looking for this and that, him and her, getting other than academic stuff done ! We are more than just teachers. We are the cleaners, decorators, prison wardens, head-counters, coaches, trainers, ambulance drivers, typist, accountants, clerks and the list is not exhaustive.

Pahang the return

2012-02-09T15:16:00.001+01:00

So I was saying, I somehow asked under-the-counter-ly to be sent to Pahang, in Pekan, preferably as Mr. Other Half was considering to accept this well-paid job in Gambang. There were a nearer option, in Kuantan precisely. But there was only an SBPI Kuantan available. And no, no one in their right mind would send somebody like me to an SBPI. Why you may ask ? Well, let's just say it's because I am not a hijabi. Enough said. And so, Pekan seemed to be the right choice. A bit of route everyday but quite manageable still.

Months after this slow talk, finally in February or March 2011, I can't recall, Mr. OH decided to decline this particular offer from Gambang. Firstly because there were some silly requirements which he refused to abide. Next, he's got another job offer near Pasir Gudang, Johor. Not as generously paid as in Gambang, but we thought we could live well enough on it.

I was doing my internship at that moment. And coincidently, on March 25th (my birthday. hint~hint~), I was given the responsibility to take the KGV French Language students to the bi-annual French Cultural Day (weekend, actually) in Cheras. Also coincidently, the very same person in charge of our placement was present. During a speech, he did invite whoever among us having any particular demand with regard to the placement to have a private talk with him later on. He said it quite jestingly but I thought, "Hey, why not give it a try ?". And so I did. There were 2 posts available in Johor at that time; Tun Fatimah School (Johor Bharu) and Kota Tinggi Science School (Bandar Penawar). The nearest option was of course STF. But to my dismay, it's an all girls school. You see, I myself have ~~spent~~ wasted 5 bloody years of my teen age in an all girls school and in my whole (almost) 26 years walking the earth,

I went to this mister, proudly telling him, I wanted to be sent all the way down south-east to Bandar Penawar. Really, it's like offering a fluffy squishy pillow to a a very very sleepy person, he was so delighted to hear that. It's because for 2 years, there was no French teacher in the school. They really were in dire need of a new teacher, and a volunteer one at that. He even gave me BOTH his private numbers and also his e-mailing address, telling me to remind him again of the matter came June because we were supposed to be in schools in August so he needed to arrange things before time.

Planning planning...

2012-02-03T12:47:00.000+01:00

Do laundry. While waiting for it to dry up, do all school stuff. Prepare handouts, study English Syllabus and prepare for coming English lesson. Yes, I teach English too, though I never had a formal education in teaching that. MUST mark students' English essay. Partly because I'm going into their class right on Wednesday. Also MUST because all teachers in the staff room looked at me in disbelief when I was carrying a bundle of exercise books down to my car.

Little did we know we would be sent away to a school by the sea (almost) where it is most suitable to wear to. Eyes shut, head tilted towards the horizon, smell the salty air, listen to the waves, let the wind blow our floaty white dress and hair while holding the top of our hats in place (just the way Fadly imagines it).

Pahang

2012-01-31T16:22:00.000+01:00

We were told to fill in the application form in which you'd state which 3 states you wished to be sent to. I think it's more like a protocol stuff because in the end, for Sekolah² berasrama Penuh (Full Boarding School) they'll just send you randomly depending on the need of schools in different states. Mind you, there are currently just like 4-5 SBPs in each state and mind you also, not all of them offer French Language.

In the form, I put Pahang, Selangor, Negeri Sembilan. In that order. I first opted for Pahang because Mr. Other Half was also being offered a handsomely-paid job in the said state, in Gambang to be precise. So konon² nak jadi isteri mithali, of course it would be a total bliss to be close to my dear (future) husband.

I remember having a slow talk with a lecturer who's also on a friendly basis with the PIC of our placement. The PIC was also a French teacher before getting promoted to the SBP department in the Ministry of Education. And since there were only 15 of us, they believed they could figure out something.

Timetable 2012

2012-01-30T02:47:00.000+01:00

Sick

2012-01-07T11:56:00.000+01:00

Like

2011-12-27T20:46:00.000+01:00

Why people "like" their own status on Facebook, is still a mystery to me.

I mean, of course you like what you're sharing hence the reason why you shared it in the first place...

I'm sorry if I'm right, but it just makes you seem to be desperate to have "something" on something you posted.

Pictures

2011-12-05T16:42:00.002+01:00

What was I doing ? Getting my bra straps correctly placed ?

Though wearing a shiny plum dress, I didn't appear plump.

The top was snug. Still, there's no protruding belly.


A top picked together with Mr. OH in Lisbonne.

Lisbon '08 : waistline 24"

Wanted

2011-11-29T17:12:00.003+01:00

FR : Hurm... Ni yang cerita mamat ni bengong² je, tiba² ade perempuan datang cakap abah dia professional assassin yang dah mati, in the end abah die datang balik but in the end abah dia mati balik ke ? (Something quite mouthful to say and not quite helping when you're trying to identify something, don't you think ?)

School Break

2011-11-29T04:22:00.002+01:00

I just loooove school holidays. Though it doesn't affect my life in anyway... BUT !!! It's the great cartoons fiesta ! Everyday !! Joy unbounded !!!

It's when I get to watch old animation pictures I used to have in my kiddo years. Which were in VHS form, which player you can only find in an antique shop nowadays. Which may be sold for display purpose alone.

Now watching Pocahontas. I haven't seen it in ages ! The only fly in the ointment is that, TV3 is now showing Barbie and 12 Dancing Princess. So I am torn between 2 channels. Hurm...

Oh well. You can't have everything.

By the way, I seem to find a strong resemblance between Pocahontas and Mrs. Jolie-pitt. Don't you think so ?

Avant-goût

2011-11-25T14:58:00.001+01:00

The magistrate let out a weary sigh and rake his hand through his thinning blond hair. He looked at Posy, then at Sophie, then Araminta, then Benedict. Lady Bridgerton cleared her throat, forcing him to look at her, too.

* * *

"I guess, what I'm saying," Sophie said quickly, "is that if I'd known at the beginning what I know now, I would have said something. But I didn't know, and I thought I'd just be positioning myself for heartbreak, and..." she choked on her final words, frantically searching his face for some kind of cue to his feelings.

"Please say something."

"I love you" he said.

It was all she needed.

You can't make everyone like you

2011-11-25T14:33:00.003+01:00

The gist of it is that, I'm trying to tell you, regardless how you love somebody, the ones very close to you may not. So, when these friends were indicating not-so-discreet hints for me to put an end to our relationship, I didn't go mental nor throw a tantrum nor declared a war against them. All I did was smile. Maybe not so sweetly, but apprehensively. I mean, I knew they cared about me, they didn't want anyone to hurt me.

And as they say, "Love makes the wisest man on earth go stupid". I went foolish as well. I adhered to my choice. Whatever happened from then on, I'd be on my own. I knew they wont mind me weeping on their shoulder if it turned sour and wet down their favourite dress in the process. Because they're my good friends. But I wont hurt my own pride, though.

A: When two people seem to love each other, I mean really, really love each other, but they cant stand each other, when do they get to the point that enough is enough?

B : Never.

Sweet really, if you like this kind of thing...

Do not begrudge your friend when they do something that displeases you but really, they're trying to protect you.
When you choose to ignore that friend's advice, be prepared for the consequences that may follow.
And if YOU are THAT friend, don't go haywire when THIS friend tries to protect you the same way you did.

How to handle a friend-you-don't-really-like's posts on Facebook.

2011-11-25T12:51:00.001+01:00

Hahahhahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahaha !!!

Sweet

2011-11-24T13:16:00.002+01:00

Urmmm.. Nom..nom..nom..~

Yahoo! Mail Extra Address

2011-11-18T15:03:00.002+01:00

This is a really cool option for someone who has a crappy mail address. Like mine.

M

So you see, elle_uriko is very dear to me. Apart from its sentimental value, I have so many other accounts under this mail i.e. ebay, amazon, facebook etc²... So I can't just shut it down. Yet in the mean time, I also have a Hotmail account so I don't really wish to have a 3rd account. It's gonna be too much to handle then.

click ! for better viewing

Cartoon Channel

2011-11-15T15:43:00.000+01:00

Animation Movies Marathon Day.

The Princess and The Frog this morning.

Tangled (Rapunzel) this afternoon.

Ooooh, I didn't know they have Tangled Wii Game...

Now watching Shrek the Third.

And considering Madagascar 2 next.

All new movies to me. Well I don't go to cinemas.

You can call me slowpode or old-fashion or unhip or whatever you wish.

Because do I care ?

Na'a'ah !

Devil Wears Prada

2011-11-13T18:11:00.000+01:00

It's kind of a bitchy movie featuring Meryl Streep as the mega bitch. Bitch movies are like a therapy for me. They help me to get up again after feeing down, with a new determination, I can be that bitch and those who crossed me would feel sorry the next time they see me. It's an ego booster of some sort.

Then some stupid so-called BFF of yours telling you are no longer the person she used to know and accusing you of being unfaithful when somebody who has a crush on you kissed you on your cheek in a public room. And your silly ninny little boyfriend whines over you not being able to attend his birthday party because you were held back at work by your big bitch boss (how old are you ? 5 ?). Come on ! Seriously, like you have a choice in that ? And did you know how she tried and worried sick of not being able to make it ? No you did not. Because you weren't even bothered to listen.

Tutty Frutty

2011-11-13T16:25:00.001+01:00

Did you know ? I once had Halle Berry's hair.

Well, not that I had strands of her hair tucked up somewhere in a precious jewellery box under my pillow or something. What I mean is, I had my hair cut her style.

I think that is the shortest I ever tampered with my hair. I think that was 10 years ago. Or so. I was in secondary school. Well, if you must know, I was in a fully boarding school. I had to wear hijab from 6 in the morning to 11 at night. Everyday. Except during weekends.

I had medium lenght hair which was in a rather thick proportion. It was tucked up in the hijab for very long. It ends up berbuah (I dont know what you call it in english) rather badly. Not that I'm saying all hijabis have berbuah hair. I was so young, I loved my long hair. But the problem was I didn't know how to take a good care of it. It bugged me like bugging bugs ! So I chopped off my hair to the very last inch of its life.

Temperature

2011-11-12T14:45:00.001+01:00

I know this isn't right but somehow, it's funny when Brutek isn't well. Because among the three, she's the hyperactive one, running around, trailing after roaches, jumping at flying bugs, nudging frogs' butts... But when she's sick, she turns hyperpassive. Uncaring with whatever form of khianat I do to her. The most she would do is just lift her head a bit, meow weakly almost inaudibly without even opening her eyes.

Count on you

2011-11-12T14:09:00.000+01:00

For some reason, I kinda have a thing for Bruno Mars' songs. Well, except Marry You maybe. I mean, what girl will be flattered when marrying her is called "something dumb to do" ? What idiot will want to get married to someone who just "thinks" they want to marry you ? The very idiot. And retarded, I say. But the tune is still catchy though. And for that reason, somehow the song just stuck in my head. I find myself singing along everytime I hear it. And tutting at the same time. (@.@!)

Yeap. Maybe I don't have those scads of hot, and popular, and rich, and fake and bitching-around friends like you (know who you are) do, but I do have REAL friends. The ones I really can count on when I am in need. With whom I can talk about serious matters, the future etc. Perhaps not over bubbly alcohol in some prestigious clubs... Still, these are not just friends with whom I badmouth or gossip about other people.

Let's shake some booty !

2011-11-10T16:42:00.002+01:00

Sweaty and Satisfied !

I found this video on Youtube. They're dancing to "Baby Girl" from Just Dance 2. I couldn't find a good video featuring Just Dance. But in a whole, it's exactly of the same principle. You dance to the beat, follow the figure step by step like it's your mirror image and earn points (figured on the left side of the screen). It's fun doing it again and again for the sake of beating your own high score.

I'm doing that 30 minutes per session everyday. Well sometimes I do more. Depending on my mood and energy.

So you see, weight loss is imminent.

Neighbour

2011-11-09T15:16:00.000+01:00

Love thy neighbour...

Are you worth it ?

2011-11-08T18:43:00.001+01:00

There certainly was a time... When I cared for you, I was worried about you. Not that it matters to you. Because now that you're fine and content, I am a nobody.

There was a time, when you needed me. You called me in the middle of the night. To ask for my say, my opinion. Only to reveal that my say and opinion didn't matter to you much either. Because you knew it all along.

It hurt when you finally revealed where I stood in your life. I didn't ask to be the first to know but I certainly didn't like having to ask to be in the light. You came to me when you needed me. And you, you called me your favourite... You may think me selfish. Not that I care anymore. But after all this while being there for you, I would have not wanted to be kept in the dark.

You used to call and text me incessantly just to know if the one you really cared about was fine. At least, a "Have you safely arrived ?" would have meant a world to me. No, it didn't even cross your mind. For all I was, is just your stepping stone.

Did I ever complain all these ? No. Because I didn't take it at heart. And I was glad to help. Now that I see who I am to you, you're not worth it.

Now that you finally found each other, I wish you all the love and happiness to the end.

Thank you very much for everything.

Password

2011-11-07T14:48:00.000+01:00

"The name of your favourite author."

The thing is, I didn't remember having one in 2009. I tried Judith Mcnaught. I used to like her writings. But it was soo past 2009. And of course, it was to no avail. I was tempted to try Julia Quinn (my current favourite author) but I was so sure that wasn't the answer.I only started reading Quinn after coming back from France. That means July 2010 the earliest.

In the Know

2011-11-02T02:34:00.000+01:00

After meeting some people this past weekend in Bukit Bintang, I finally am in the know of where I'll be (or am) placed. Apparently they have established the list of schools for the 15 of us. And it is said that we are not there yet because some division or other in the Ministry of Education hasn't released the letters of appointment for some reason or other.

Well... I don't really know whether to feel elated or forlorn with the town where I am destined to be. I just feel indifferent.

Loonstruck

2011-11-01T15:59:00.000+01:00

8.30 am, Banquet Hall,

Radius International Hotel Bukit Bintang.

Pulling out my usual chair to sit down when I noticed a senior French lecturer was staring and grinning at me just a foot away... Intrigued, I smiled at him.

Senior : What's your name ?

Fzah Ruslan : Hafidzah

Sen : Where did you go to school ?

FR : Sains Pasir Puteh

Sen : Oh, so you're a former student of Monsieur Rahim then ?

FR : Yes, I am.

Sen : You applied for a post in Sains Kota Tinggi, isn't it ?

FR : (???) Yyyyeeesss... But how did you know ?

Sen : Ehhehehheheheheheh

FR : How did you know Sir ?

Sen : Hehehehheheheheheheh

Truth be told, I was a bit scared. He seems to be no less than a loonleader. Which he most probably well be. I pulled out my chair and sat down more quickly than humanly possible, like there's fire on my butt. Just in case he would leap up on me and do the thing a loonleader do.

DIY Project II

2011-10-26T18:08:00.000+02:00

What is it ?

DIY Project I

2011-10-26T18:02:00.000+02:00

Teaser :

What is it ?

24

2011-10-26T13:59:00.000+02:00

24 October

2011-10-24T20:03:00.004+02:00

Bella caught a fever a few days ago. She's been sneezing every now and then. And sometimes, I can see some clear liquid lurking out of her nostrils, threatening to drip down into her mouth. Yucko ! I bet if she wasn't so much of a furry thing, I would be able to witness the heat emanating from her skin.

As I was saying, today, Bella had a coughing fest. You know, the kind when you cough so badly you gag and you puke ? Well, Bella had that. She threw up some loose phlegm (thank God it was just the phlegm. I really don't think I could bring my hands to scoop up half digested Frieskies kibbles) the colour of her own fur only darker on a cushion in the living room. Quite a lot. For a good few seconds. Which even allowed me to pat on her neck a few times while she was at it. If that did any better to ease her up, I wouldn't know. Poor, poor Bella...

Yeoww 'scuze me ladies.

Agony

2011-10-23T12:25:00.000+02:00

crimson red and swollen after bath

Extra

2011-10-20T16:32:00.001+02:00

Depressed.

2011-10-20T13:45:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday !!!

2011-10-19T14:46:00.000+02:00

I love Brutek

2011-10-16T18:22:00.001+02:00

Bella : the sulking cat

The oh-so-tempting-to-annoy Brutek a.k.a Butek.

Introducing Brutek's mommy : Boo-Yah/Buya/Bruya/Gumok/Mok/Che Mok

I have the money

2011-10-13T16:14:00.001+02:00

Abahanda has just got back from tahlil next door. As he was striding towards the seating, something or someone or even heavens above for all I know made him asked :

"Kau bila nak kahwin Pee ?

See, I told you it's The Age. I told you he just couldn't wait to get rid of me !

Heee~eeeh ??! Came my reply. Even I was startled by the sound I made. It was certainly inhumane.

And he said, "Abah dapat duit xxx (I couldn't decipher what he was saying and I wasnt even bothered to ask). Nak kahwin sekarang bolehlah.

Haaaha ! How Convenient. Maybe he thinks me getting married is as easy as buying me Baby Wuu. "I have the money, let's go get you a Supreme Red car from that showroom in Kajang."

I wish. I wish...

P/S : That's quite a number of posts in a day. It happens when things happen in my dull boring life of a jobless person. Anyway, I haven't been on my computer for days. Not that I usually sat on my comp... Oh bother ! As I was saying, I'm blogging from my phone hence the short unorganized, monochrome, imageless entries. Toodles~!

Doa senjata ...

2011-10-13T10:36:00.000+02:00

Risau jugak saya Tuan. Kalau betul langgar binatang. Binatang kan berdoa jugak. Takut dia doakan benda tak elok pada kita.

Owh how I laughed ! Sure Brutek dah doakan macam2 against me ever since I came home in July. I've been annoying ber every other day. No wonder I am most unfortunate these days. Sampai sekarang tade kerja...

Haesh. Kena berbaik dengan Brutek, jangan khianat dia lagi (quoting Abahanda). Then again, she's very tempting to annoy.

Cousin

2011-10-12T13:55:00.000+02:00

If she's not a cousin of mine, I would have liked to court her...

Hohho ! That's rich, coming from a cousin on whom I used to have a crush myself. XD

And this is the same cousin whose late mother had wanted to marry his eldest son to me.

Oh well. It's too late for any of those now. The brother has married a few years ago. And the cousin is now engaged.

Mom shouldn't have told me about this. I cant be sure if I manage to act cool the next time I see him. Awkward.

No white, please !

2011-09-27T17:19:00.000+02:00

NEVER WEAR WHITE ! EVER !!

When I say white, I mean to say pure white without even the slightest hint of any other colour. Even worse, it's when you're wearing plain white plus ruffles, beads, sequins, laces ! And for boys, please do not wear white baju melayu. Prefereably not with songkok with a brooch dangling at one corner and a big no to kain samping, mainly the one made of songket. Especially if you're attending the solemnization ceremony where in all it's usuality (is that a word ? Like I care.) the groom will be wearing as described above.

Otherwise, you'll be stealing the limelight from the newlyweds. Even more, guests who don't know the couple might confused you with them and come bustling congratulating you. You might feel excited, thrilled or whatever but it is so not your own wedding. It's disrespectful. And rude.

To an extent, it's insulting. Depending on the culture. Because certain culture associates white with death or grief.

Unless, you hate the newlyweds so much so you wish them death very soon.

Then again, I suggest you just don't attend at all.

Mak saya tak sayang saya.

2011-09-22T16:56:00.000+02:00

Haa.. Ingat Fzah Ruslan tau main Shrek The Third je ke (angkat kening sebelah dekat Mr. OH) ? Ingat boleh main Barbie Horse Riding Camp je (angkat kening dua² belah kat korang) ? Fzah Ruslan does have that brutal and sadist side of her tau.

Anyway !

Mak bising². Calculator mana ? Tak tahu, tak peduli dengan calculator. Eyh, kenapa calculator tak nak hidup nih ? Manelah tahu haih (Mak nih, sebok je. Dah la orang tengah busy² lawan pedang dengan zombie plus gorilla !).

Tot.. Tot.. Tottottot.. Tot.. Tot. (Mak tekan calculator laju²). Lepas tu mak letak balik calculator. Mak bersandar kat settee sambil 2 tangan bawa kebelakang kepala. Mak nampak puas hati dengan hasil kira-kira beliau.

Hurm... Amende la Mak aku kira² tu. Kira aset la gamaknya tu. Mak ni suka sangat jaga aset beliau... Ah pedulilah ! sambil lempar bom tangan ke arah seekor Yeti.

Selang beberapa ketika...

Cik Ngah kahwin tahun depan, umur Cik Ngah 26 kan. Cik Ngah dapat anak, anak sulung Cik Ngah habis SPM, Cik Ngah 43. Sempat la anak² besar before pencen...

Cik Ngah in question tekan butang pause dekat game controller. Francis the Black Buccaneer terkangkang di awang-awangan.

Susah² main calculator tadi tu, nak kira umur anak orang ke ??

Cik Ngah rasa nak golek² atas lantai !

Mat Sabu

2011-09-22T15:36:00.000+02:00

A

2011-09-19T19:02:00.004+02:00

At first, I wasn't sure if I really was the subject upon which his eyes were fixed so I paid no heed though my feminin intuition was suspecting something. Come on, you sure have experienced that at least once in your lifetime. You just can feel you're being watched though you don't know by whom. And how you feel like somebody's eyes were burning holes on the back of your neck.

I like to think it was of acknowledgement and his way of saying "Hello !" from the other end of the room. It was truly beyond my expectation. I was expecting to stun him by my courage to stare him down square in the eyes, to let him know that I knew he was staring so he'd be ashamed by his own act hence forcing him to profess defeat.

Apparently, it backfired. My burning cheeks have betrayed my coolness by skipping all shades of red from creamy peach to china red but jumping straight to crimson. Having no choice, I had to smile and nod back at him. I hope he never did reckon the shock on my face. Anyway, as they always say, every cloud has a silver lining. Because with that, I finally got to look away to hide my embarrassement. And blink. Profusely.

Arif

2011-09-17T14:54:00.001+02:00

A happy man says...

2011-09-17T14:44:00.000+02:00

"I’m satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much. A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss. … That’s the trade-off. But I’ll take it all. One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom.

"She is such a great mom. Oh, man, I’m so happy to have her.” - Brad Pitt

Oh nak nanges... (TT.TT)

If look can kill...

2011-09-16T18:35:00.003+02:00

daggers at each other, while doing some telepathic quarrel over who gets to snuggly-boggly-woggly with

Strong

2011-09-14T20:30:00.002+02:00

Love story

2011-09-12T21:28:00.000+02:00

Amazing

2011-09-10T15:00:00.000+02:00

Beauty lies in the...

2011-09-09T17:47:00.001+02:00

Beautiful

2011-09-09T17:03:00.000+02:00

Whoops ! Wrong image. Tihihihi~

My definition of beauty.

Losing weight

2011-09-08T18:16:00.000+02:00

My bench mark is the aforementioned "favourite pair of pants". Though I hate to admit that I don't look good in it as I did before, at least I can now get into it (with a touch of efforts). My belly is spilling out of the waist and it's wraping my thighs like nangka dibungkus t-shirt lama, STILL it's far lot better than not being able to pull it up past my thighs.

Raya !!!

2011-08-30T13:36:00.001+02:00

Hurm... Nasib baik hensem.

Lend me your ear

2011-08-27T14:35:00.004+02:00

fat and plastic

2011-08-25T19:54:00.001+02:00

Look at my armsy... Where has it gone ?? What's left now are just 2 flabby huge arms ! The picture was taken a few weeks after my return to KL (July, 2010). I lost so much weight. I was under so much pressure readapting myself to my own homeland (it sounds over the top but trust me it's true). And IPBA. If you've been following my ~~rantings~~ writings, I'm sure you've came across my chagrin towards IPBA.

a green monster on my back

2011-08-25T19:02:00.001+02:00

Crash Tag Team Racing

2011-08-24T19:02:00.001+02:00

It's more than just a racing game. You explore all 4 parks to find materials to upgrade your and your team's car, outfit, weapon and also to unlock 12 racing arenas. Yeap, you read it right. I said "weapon". As you drive, you can tag yourself (or they use the term "clashing" in the game) with another driver and you shoot other racers or you can be the driver. Super cool !

Anyway, cakap banyak tak guna. See the race for yourself. In this video, the uploader plays as Coco Bandicoot. At 0:50, you will see Coco tagging herself with Crunch. She lets Crunch drive and she is the shooter. Oh and by the way, Crunch, Coco and Crash are siblings (in that order) with Crash is the youngest, mute and retarded.

Let's play !

2011-08-23T21:17:00.002+02:00

Well... maybe not as soon as that. Because my bro's games are usually boring. They're about some cavalryman' adventure, possessing some super powers with super weapons... Those are not the boring bit. The boring and in fact, annoying bit would be the part when they cross path with the villains, they don't go and slaughter them like other normal battles. They take turns ! It's the superhero's turn. He gets to choose what weapon he needs, hits the villain once. And then, there comes the villain's turn, and then the hero's turn again etc². Yeap. Dull. Monotone.

Awkward

2011-08-23T19:45:00.002+02:00

It was 3pm. I was having lunch while watching Bella Calamidades (ehherm!). Yeap, I had lunch in Ramadhan, which meant I was "not allowed" to fast. I had my meal at 3 because nobody's at home at that time as to show some respect to those fasting. Mom always comes home for her "lunch break" from 1 - 2 pm while Dad will only come back after work at 5.

Dad and I were having supper in the living room. Suddenly I noticed something weird on my kaftan. Absent-mindedly, I went "Hey, what's this ?!" out loud which sent my dad directing his view onto my lap too. And then it's too late for me to notice that they were actually traces of blood from some major "leakage".

Fast

2011-08-23T19:43:00.000+02:00

Antadys really works. I like to believe that it works right away with just the first tablet. Alright, maybe I exagerated a bit. But really, it works for me like 10 minutes after taking the pill. Highly recommended. Tablets of the same range available in Malaysia can't compare to Antadys. So those still in France, don't forget to stock it up before you come back here. Obtainable under prescription by your physician.

Eid ?

2011-08-23T10:38:00.000+02:00

"Why ? Your boyfriend is coming home ? If he is, we can celebrate Eid in Negeri Sembilan..."

Reason

2011-08-22T21:01:00.002+02:00

Inbound

2011-08-22T19:51:00.003+02:00

An Akemi van passed by in front of us. Absent mindedly, both our heads followed the van until it disappear from our view (not that our heads detached themselves from our necks and clung unto the van instead. figuratively speaking, mind you !). Perhaps because it was one of the brands we always had our money on at the mall.

"Curi van Akemi ni untung jugak. Dapat supply bedsheet setahun. Bagus Akemi ni. Van besar tu, seumur hidup pun boleh."

Outbound

2011-08-22T19:04:00.001+02:00

We were creeping behind a slowpoke trailer carrying tonnnes of timber up a slope on a 2-lane road. Have you ever experienced that ? It's really irksome, I tell you. Your leg sores out of trying hard to maintain the speed of your car but in the meantime you have to be real careful not to follow the trailer too closely cause it might turn out hazardous. You're annoyed cause you know you can move much faster but you can't overtake the trailer on a double-line road...

Paying debt

2011-08-22T15:30:00.000+02:00

That's mean or that's means ?

2011-08-16T19:21:00.005+02:00

Love it !

I can't remember since when I learn to use "mean" properly. I suppose I heard it all the time while watching my Disney Princesses Tapes (DVDs were rare those days). You see, I don't watch TV for nothing. Unlike you guys (I know I'm being mean here but!!), I watch and learn. You should do that sometimes, you know. Watch English or American channels not just for fun and drooling over cute actors, or LOLing over sitcoms or solely to watch. You can learn a lot actually. The language, the culture, the facts and figures... And don't just depend on the subtitles. I know, many depends largely on the subtitles when watching something in a foreign language. Very few use the subtitles as a platform to know how a new word is used or a structure is formed. It's simple. Listen intently as they speak, observe the subtitles, and then you'll know how to reproduce it in your daily needs.

Where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself ?

Beday

2011-08-15T16:39:00.000+02:00

The Imam said through the speaker...

"Jangey maing beday tu awey weyh, gganggu oghey semayey..."

Understand ? Nope ? No, I guess not.

It can be translated as :

"Jangan main mercun tu anak (lelaki) oi, ganggu orang sembahyang..."

Dituruti suara² dengan semangat inkuiri yang tinggi : anok sapo maing beday tuh ?

Seriously ! Anak sape la tu tak reti bahasa main mercun depan surau time orang terawih ? Mak bapak tak ajar ke ? Really, bile anak-anak buat pasal, orang akan question siapa mak bapaknya.

Surau

2011-08-09T18:06:00.001+02:00

Jemaah bukan Islamiyah

2011-08-07T18:57:00.001+02:00

Begini kisahnya, sejak malam pertama Ramadhan, saya masih belum berkesempatan untuk menempatkan diri pada saf (barisan) pertama jemaah Isyak dan Tarawikh di surau kampung. Ditakdirkan, hujan lebat turun malam tadi membasahi bumi yang kontang sejak beberapa minggu kini. Justeru, kehadiran jemaah merosot. Jemaah perempuan hanya 6 orang termasuk saya sendiri.

Setiba saya di surau, hati berbunga riang. Manakan tidak, saya berjaya mendapat tempat bukan sahaja di barisan pertama, malahan paling hujung di barisan itu. Surau tersebut membahagikan kawasan solat lelaki dan perempuan secara menyebelah. Oleh itu, saya merupakan ahli jemaah perempuan yang paling dekat kiranya dengan Imam. Menurut kefahaman saya, semakin dekat kedudukan kita dengan Imam, semakin besar pahala jemaah yang kita dapat. Manakan tidak berbunga riang ?

Saya kembali berpaling ke hadapan sambil berharap jemaah wanita yang lebih kurang sebaya serta berkongsi fahaman yang sama akan hadir serta menyertai saf yang telah saya mulakan. But you can't have everything, right ? Sebentar kemudian, hadir seorang makcik, mengambil tempat di sebelah saya. Saya berasa senang.

Namun, kesenangan itu tidak kekal. Bila Imam menyeru agar dirapatkan saf sebagai tanda solat Isyak bakal didirikan, melihat kami berdua sahaja di saf pertama, makcik tersebut beralih ke belakang meninggalkan saya seorang di saf hadapan dan mereka berlima di saf kedua. Saya butakan sahaja mata seraya meluruskan pakaian solat. Namun saya terlupa memekakkan telinga...

Saya sudah mula mengetap bibir, pejamkan mata, tarik nafas dalam². Pun begitu, saya gagahkan juga diri akur dengan desakan makcik tersebut. Mungkin, beliau orang tua berpengaruh di kampung ini. Makcik² lain tidak berkata walau sepatah. Ah mana saya tahu. Saya pun tidak selalu di sini. Tapi, berpengaruh tidak semestinya betul.

Ego

2011-08-07T10:59:00.000+02:00

Kadangkala, sesuatu yang berlaku bukan salah kita. Tapi kita sedia merendahkan ego sendiri untuk kembali berdamai, terkadang sehingga sanggup memohon maaf. Tapi sebaliknya apa yang kita dapat ? Kelukaan yang berlipat ganda. Mungkin, patut didengari kata hati. Tebalkan saja egomu. Biar tiada damai asal sahaja hatimu tidak terus dilukai.

September

2011-08-04T11:04:00.000+02:00

It's August, I know. But something's gonna happen in September.

I received an SMS this afternoon alleging that I'd have to report to my designated school in September.

Well, after so much this and that, I'm not putting so high a hope on this matter. Anyway, if that's the case, it sure will be great. I just can't wait to earn money of my own because right now, I'm on the brink of broke-sity !

I was Googling for an image bearing the key-word "september" and this one showed up.

Nightmare

2011-07-26T17:52:00.001+02:00

Brutek d/o Boo-Yah

Peladang & Penternak

2011-07-24T15:47:00.000+02:00

mug skema. almaklum, parents kerja dengan Kementerian Kesihatan ;p

Menonton TV
Melayari internet sambil berbual dgn Mr. OH
Minum Alicafé cecah biskut Hup Seng (sedap. sila cuba !)
Makan biskut Hup Seng sapu dengan Spéculoos (makan Spéculoos berjimat cermat. pemberian Mr. OH last February)

Nak buat "sun salutation" banyak-banyak !

Cool Key

2011-07-24T07:45:00.000+02:00

Really cool for a lady driver, I tell you. For example, if you're being followed by a serial rapist or whatever maniac in the basement, you can skip the hassle and trouble of groping for your car key in the labyrinth of your stuff-filled handbag and get into the safety of your car and drive away ASAP.

Baby Wuu revive

2011-07-23T06:38:00.000+02:00

Oh well. At least it doesn't look like this anymore...

Surprisingly, the repair cost was very inexpensive. I, unemployed that I am, could have afford it myself. Not that I did anyway. Since Abahanda's paying for it, why bother ?

Cantonese

2011-07-19T10:45:00.001+02:00

TL : Though not everyone may experience the same situation, I hope you will be very careful. I suggest that you get to know them first, see if you're comfortable with them, that they can accept you in their entourage. Then only you slowly pick up the language. Don't rush into things alright, Hafidzah ?

Girl next room

2011-07-17T16:44:00.001+02:00

Kampung Tumang

2011-07-17T16:01:00.001+02:00

Told ya, I love going back to Kampung Tumang, Johol. The village is situated in the Kuala Pilah district. I don't have to explain where Kuala Pilah is now, do I ? Otherwise, if you're Malaysian, I bet you sucked up at Geography or you're just plain dumb. Whilst if you're not Malaysian, do me a favour, go Google it yourself.

Where was I beforee I so rudely interrupted myself ? Ah yes... Well, I like it there. Because it has all the village atmosphere i.e. the lush forest surrounding, the hills, the creek, ketermenungan sambil menggeliat malas before gingerly feeling the icy-cold water in the morning, the weak reception of DiGi, the weaker signal of Maxis Broadband... Teehehehee.

milking the coconut (that's my hand !)

beralas tikar mengkuang

I can't remember what it's called...

Snowball ?

2011-07-14T06:21:00.000+02:00

It comes from here...

In Negeri Sembilan dialect, it's called "tombong"...

it has finally come to an end

2011-07-12T16:15:00.000+02:00

Nonetheless, I still got this...

I was talking to a couple of friends when one of them realized something...

One : You didn't get any flowers ?

Fzah Ruslan : Naah...

One : You wait here, I'm gonna go get you some flowers.

FR : Hey, no ! You don't have to !

But he was already descending the escalator. Now that's what I call a gentleman.

Precious Black

2011-07-11T17:18:00.008+02:00

Baby Wuu

2011-07-10T05:57:00.001+02:00

Black & White

2011-07-07T17:29:00.000+02:00

silhouette

2011-07-06T17:04:00.003+02:00

That evening, I arrived at the residence 10 minutes late. Emerging from the tall French door, I noticed that a speech was under way Not wanting to stir the crowd with my presence, I stationned myself next to a colleague standing nearest to the entrance. He glanced at me sideways and said, "Tu es très belle ce soir."

Sensing a new arrival in the room, another colleague turned around to look at my direction. God I loved the look on his face when he saw me. He looked stunned. Well that's perhaps because I was stunning ! Ahahahahhaha ! He regarded me from top to bottom before lifting an eye-brow and throwing a lop-sided grin towards me. And trust me, he had that cheeky look on his face ! For all I know, next as I was in the middle of a discussion with some "big guy" from the Embassy, I was interrupted by him saying, "Fzah Ruslan, let's take a picture". I'm sure he didn't mean to be rude so I smiled at the "big guy" apologetically.

Slim

2011-07-04T06:42:00.001+02:00

Fzah Ruslan : Wow ! It's like I've lost some weight !

(Wearing a square-neck top with my hair up, I was studying my reflection in the mirror.)

Roommate 2 : What ? Only now you notice it ?

FR : What do you mean ?

RM2 : You look much slimmer since you came back 2 weeks ago.

Owh ? Really, I didn't realize. Maybe all this while I've been wrapped up in high-neck clothes and I always preferred to let my hair loose down... So it was somewhat "hidden". Actually, my neck look much slender now if not a perfect fit for a mandarin collar. And my collar bones, they're sticking out rather gracefully leaving the hollow space almost capable of fencing water when I take a shower.

Oh well. Stress sangat kot lately... Too big a thing has been occupying my mind these days that it doesn't even have a room to process the data sent by my body screaming, "I'm hungry ! I want to eat ! Eat ! Eat !!"

both

2011-07-02T18:20:00.000+02:00

6 years... and this ?

2011-07-02T02:34:00.000+02:00

Hurm...

What a wonderful way to celebrate the day after you've completed your 6 long dreadful years of studies isn't it ? I was thrown and kicked out ! Whatever ! I don't really wish to elaborate more on it.

Anyway, the short and short of it is that, I was awaken at 8h30 this morning by a voice no less sounded like a thunderstorm, started packing up all my things, shoving everything inside Baby Wuu (God, I don't really know how I'd do without him), went out at 14h00 to unwind and got myself an Oreo-Crush Each-a-Cup in SOGO, came back and fetched Baby Wuu, almost had an accident and being honked profusely, followed the other girls to Wangsa Maju and spent about 3 hours playing SUDOKU in the Wangsa Walk parking lot while they went to their RDV, left the compound at 23h45 and now here I am, finally in Rawang. A good Samaritan has offered her roof for me to stay under for the night. Well, the good Samarian is actually my roommate...

Whatever ! Malas nak sambung !

woo~!

2011-06-28T17:11:00.002+02:00

Two Nuns

2011-06-27T07:08:00.000+02:00

your

Funny

2011-06-26T22:49:00.000+02:00

Persil

2011-06-25T19:14:00.003+02:00

Water's still dripping from my limbs onto the floor. I just had my shower. (Ahhhh... I can spend all night in there. And I can spend all day in a bath). Err, where was I before I rudely interrupted myself ? Ah yes, done with the shower bit. Wrapped in my turquoise towel, I sit on the edge of my single bed. Applying my newly-bought creme on my hands and legs.

It smells like the detergent he used to wash his clothes with. (I like to think it was the "L'authentique" because I don't recall seeing one with coloured cap in his studio). Oh how I loved the smell. Huhhurm. How I felt so good when he's close I could smell the faint sweet and soothing aroma. Looking back at it now, no wonder it took me all day to fold his cloths. I was busy inhaling the scent before folding a shirt, while folding it, after folding it, before putting it in the locker...

, it's almost lik

untitled

2011-06-25T10:57:00.000+02:00

(This is a sticky post. Please scroll down for recent posts.)

Actually, I think I'm just too upset and frustrated and angry. And to be true, there's no one I can really talk about it to without feeling their pity and in the meantime, embarrassing myself. At the moment, I keep trying not to release my anger to an innocent passer-by who happens to a do miniscule mistake, but I've been failing miserably.

You know what ? I kinda have this familiar feeling. That one feeling I once have during my first year in France. Feeling the need to be away for a while, to unwind, far from those who know me. In 2008, I flew back to Malaysia and splurge. But it's different now. I'm broke. There's nowhere I can go.

when ?

2011-06-24T07:23:00.000+02:00

more news

2011-06-23T04:50:00.000+02:00

sweet...~

stuffed

2011-06-20T19:16:00.000+02:00

Boo-Yah

Baby Wuu goes to spa

2011-06-20T18:03:00.000+02:00

a phone call

2011-06-20T17:23:00.000+02:00

Senawang

2011-06-19T19:23:00.000+02:00

Falling in LOVE

2011-06-18T21:45:00.000+02:00

all over again

with the same person

how can I possibly not ?

Pindah

2011-06-17T09:44:00.000+02:00

Menarik sebuah hand-luggage ke anjung dengan niat nak brush off Bella's fur...

Abahanda : Aih, nak pindah ke ?

Fzah Ruslan : Hurm pindahlah. Dah abah kata dah tak nak bela.

Abahanda & Mamanda : Heheheheheheheh !

Cross

2011-06-16T17:49:00.000+02:00